Its swim suit season, let the self loathing begin.

I finally did it I went swimsuit shopping. For you men out there who are unaware, swimsuit shopping for a lot of is a woman is like vasectomy shopping for a man. Yes, it is that painful. The only reason I relented and went shopping was that I wanted a new suit for my trip to Las Vegas. I found one that is nice a blue and somewhat concealing of my problem parts. I came home and put the suit on so my husband could look. My daughter saw it and said, “Why does your suit look like a dress?” I told her the truth, “Because I am a fat chick and fat chicks have to wear fat chick suits.” She hasn’t eaten since.

Even though it has a skirt that comes to my knees, ok not quite to my knees it serves it purpose it lets me get in the water and in Arizona when its 106 degrees by noon even fat chicks need to get in the water. It also allows me to partake in of one of my favorite actives, people watching. We went to Sunsplash yesterday I played in the wave pool, floated around the lazy river and spent some time in the shipwreck cove watching my daughter play around while Dad and son slid down the slides. After word, Dad took Robyn to slide down the slides she will go down and I went back over to the wave pool and read Michael Crichton’s book, “Time Line.”, while attempting to alter my normally pale skin into something a little darker. Red is darker right?

While I read and baked, I watched the people as they bobbed around in the wave, pool and marveling at all the different tattoos on display, I was struck with the unfairness of it all. The men s suits are just about all the same lose shorts about to the knee. The only thing that differs is the pattern and color of the shorts. Then you look at the woman’s suits and there are I don’t know how many styles to choose from. You have the one piece, the one piece that is trying to pretend it’s a two-piece, the one piece with a skirt, and the one piece that looks like a maternity top. That just the one piece suits then you have the two-piece suits and the huge variety of size and shape of the fabric. Added to that you have all the different ways to make sure the suit stays where it supposed to , you have bows, buckles, rings and I swear some are using magic because I cant see any other thing that is keeping that top up there where it belongs.

That is why women hate to shop for swimsuits. Men just have to decide what color they want and what pattern looks good. Any suit looks good on any mans build. Women on the other hand have to try to find a suit that looks good on their particular type of body and is attractive at the same time. I can think of at least a half dozen things I would rather do then shop for a swimsuit, root canal springs to mind.