Wednesday’s poetry corner.

This week’s poetry corner is homage to taxes and the IRS. I also included some very funny jokes about the IRS because it’s my blog and I can. Enjoy the poems and the jokes. If you like them, I have included the links back to the original sites.

Tax ands IRS poems

http://www.helium.com/items/419325-taxessomeone-please-where-money

Taxes

Someone, please tell me,
if you know, where does,
all the money go?
Taxes, taxes, on everything,
Uncle Sam's coffers,
ka-ching, ka-ching.
I'm in debt over my head,
no relief in sight,
until I'm dead.

Whether at work, at play,
shopping, attending, a ball game,
it seems they want more every day

I pay in good faith,
year in, year out,
the return on this investment,
zero, or there about.

Then, come April 15th,
I live in fear,
I'm going to have to pay,
more again this year

I work very hard,
live day to day,
I look forward to when I can say,
Uncle, you get no more of my pay

Of course, when that happens,
it won't mean a thing,
he'll be at my funeral,
to tax,
my wedding ring

http://www.antion.com/humor/speakerhumor/taxes2.htm

To err is human, but this you should learn.

Do not be human on your tax return.

No longer does 1040 scare me; I fill it without sufferin.

I read the instructions, grab hold of my pen

And my aspirin, my Anacin and my Bufferin.

The IRS believes that the United States is a land of "untold" wealth.

http://www.poeticexpressions.co.uk/poems/The%20Tax%20Poem.htm

Tax his land, tax his wage,
Tax his bed in which he lays.
Tax his tractor, tax his mule,
Teach him taxes is the rule.

Tax his cow, tax his goat,
Tax his pants, tax his coat.
Tax his ties, tax his shirts,
Tax his work, tax his dirt.

Tax his chew, tax his smoke,
Teach him taxes are no joke.
Tax his car, tax his grass,
Tax the roads he must pass.

Tax his food, tax his drink,
Tax him if he tries to think.
Tax his sodas, tax his beers,
If he cries, tax his tears.

Tax his bills, tax his gas,
Tax his notes, tax his cash.
Tax him good and let him know
That after taxes, he has no dough.

If he hollers, tax him more,
Tax him until he's good and sore.
Tax his coffin, tax his grave,
Tax the sod in which he lays.

Put these words upon his tomb,
"Taxes drove me to my doom!"
And when he's gone, we won't relax,
We'll still be after the inheritance tax.

Clever quotes and jokes about taxes and the IRS.

Next to being shot at and missed, nothing is really quite as satisfying as an income tax refund ** F.J. Raymond

You have to admire the IRS. Any organization that makes that much money without advertising deserves respect.

I feel honored to pay taxes in America. The thing is I could feel just as honored at half the price. ** Arthur Godfrey

No mans property is safe while Congress is in session. ** Mark Twain

We do not seem able to check crime, so why not legalize it and then tax it out of business. ** Will Rogers

Income tax is the most equitable of all taxes. It gives everyone an equal chance at poverty.

April is the month the green returns to the lawn, the trees and the IRS.

The US Flag of taxes. We see "red" when we talk about taxes. We turn "white" when we calculate taxes and blue when we pay our taxes. Then we see stars when we are audited.

When your ship finally does come in how come the IRS is at the dock unloading it?

Paying your taxes goes for a good cause . . . it keeps you out of prison.

The difference between a taxidermist and a tax collector is that the taxidermist leaves the hide.

The difference between cheating the IRS and crossing the street in New York City: One is tax evasion and the other is taxi evasion.

The IRS sure knows how to take our money. You've really got to hand it to them.

The IRS is helping us with our errands this year. . . . They are taking us to the cleaners.

Motto least likely to be seen in an IRS office: "Money isnt everything."

Motto most likely to be seen in an IRS office: "Success has its price."

Never put off till tomorrow what you can do today. If you do, there will probably be a higher tax on it.

On April 15th you count your blessings . . . and then send them to Washington.

My kids think "damn" and "taxes" are one word.

Taxation is based on supply and demand. We supply when the government demands.

I just sent the IRS a big check. Thank goodness, I am all paid up through 1952.

Ask your IRS agent this question: "What did you do with the money I gave you last year?"

Last year there were two ways of filing your income tax. They were both wrong!

I just filled out my income tax forms. Who says you can not get killed by a blank?

The new IRS office comes fully equipped. It even has a recovery room.

Birth control pills are deductible. . . .but only if they don't work.